8 Steps to Talk to Your Loved Ones about Your Struggles With Confidence & Peace
Struggling with restrictions, bingeing, body image, and food freedom can feel so so lonely.
You look at your friends eating ice cream and pizza freely and confidently, and you wonder why you’re so different from them.
You look at girls on Instagram with perfect abs, and you wonder why you can’t be just like them.
You sit at dinner with your family who keeps asking you questions about why you’re eating zoodles instead of pasta, and you feel like they just don’t get it.
You feel like you’re the only one who can’t figure out how to feel confident and proud in her body.
You feel like you’re the only one who can’t seem to maintain any self-control around a box of cookies.
You feel like you’re the only one who hates what she sees in the mirror.
You feel like you’re the only one who would rather go to bed hungry than eat something and go over your number of allotted calories for the day.
Please listen to me when I tell you this:
You are not alone. You are never alone.
When you’re striving for food freedom, releasing the restrictions and food rules, getting over your fears of gaining weight, and stepping into your power and your light, there are two paths that you can take:
The first option is to do it in isolation. This can feel like the safest route, but it’s actually the most difficult. This is the path that girls who feel unworthy of help or are ashamed of their struggles take. This looks like trying to figure it out all on your own, carrying all the weight of the world on your shoulders, and wondering how far you’ll make it before giving up.
The second option is to heal with the support and guidance of those around you. This can feel scary and super vulnerable, but it is ultimately the easier route in the long run. This is for girls who are ready to accept support and trust that they don’t have to do this all alone. Healing for them looks like sharing their heart with friends and family, investing in the proper resources that will help them to heal deeply, and leaning into the support and love that comes with being taken care of.
Whichever camp you choose to be in, I’m proud of you for at least BEING on this journey towards ultimate self-love, confidence, and freedom.
However, if you’re willing to take the second option and be supported, but you don’t know how to communicate your struggles and needs with loved ones, then these are the steps you need to take today:
Actually figure out how you’re feeling and what you’re struggling with. In order to ask for help, it’s going to be important that you know what you’d like help with! If you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions, then your loved ones will feel overwhelmed and stressed to. Take out your journal and get clear on what exactly is happening in your life. What needs to change in order for you to heal and be free? What is the biggest obstacle that you’re coming up against? Why is now the time to finally do something about it?
Assess your fears around vulnerability. In general, humans don’t enjoy being vulnerable. It feels like we’re exposing our deepest selves to others, and we’re not sure how they’re going to judge what we say. However, you need to weigh your priorities - stay “safe” and closed off? Or take a leap of faith and open yourself up to love and support? I know which options I would choose!!
Set a date for your conversation with your parents/friends/family. Accountability is key! Decide on who you’d like to share your heart with and when you’re going to do it. Write it down or schedule it in - whatever you need to do to make sure it happens - and stick with it! Share your date and plan in our private Eating with Love & Intuition Facebook Group as a bonus!!
Establish a clear intention for the discussion ahead. At the beginning of your conversation, make it clear that you’re not looking for advice on what you have to say. You’re simply looking to share, open up, and be HEARD. By communicating this crystal clear intention at the beginning of the discussion, you can ensure that your audience won’t be thinking of advice while you’re talking. Instead, they’ll be fully focused on you, your words, and your heart.
Share from your heart. This is the time to be real and honest! In order to receive the love, guidance, and support you deserve, you need to be willing to speak and share from love. If you keep your guard up, your loved ones will be able to tell and may not trust you fully. Let it all out and feel the RELIEF that comes with unloading the weight that’s been resting on your shoulders for so long.
Listen from your heart. Your loved ones will inevitably have a response to what you’ve shared! Just as you expected for them to listen without judgment, you need to do the same. Understand that they are looking out for you and speaking with love, so stay open to what they have to say.
Propose expectations and next steps. At the end of the day, this is your life and YOUR conversation, so you get to decide what happens next. Clearly communicate HOW you would like your loved ones to show up to support you. This may look like checking in on you daily, or giving you space; helping you find resources to heal, or supporting you in the program you’ve already researched; helping you discuss and digest your feelings, or allowing you to process on your own in your own time. Whatever feels best to YOU should be the precedent you set for how your loved ones can support you moving forward.
Express gratitude. It is so important to say thank you and express your love and appreciation for the people in your life, and this situation is no different! Make sure to tell your family and friends how much you appreciate them and their willingness to create a safe space for you to share. This is the perfect way to close out the conversation so that all parties involved feel appreciated and understood.
Talking about your feelings around food and your body can feel so scary and intimidating, but it is often the first key step in your journey towards achieving lasting food freedom. Use this guide to help you open your heart to those who love you so that you can lighten the load, worry, and stress that you’ve been carrying for so long.
If you’d like to practice this conversation or have questions on how to implement the steps above, send a message to @kaleandkravings on Instagram and I’d be more than happy to guide you!