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I am officially a grandma…
What I really mean is – I have reached my senior year of college.
How. Did. That. Happen?!
I always think back to my days as an elementary school girl who was picked up from school by a babysitter, i.e. a UCLA sorority girl. They were always fun, beautiful, bubbly, and so ADULTish. They could drive a car, they wrote “papers” instead of essays, and they stayed up way past my bedtime. There’s just no way that I have now become that girl…
But alas, here I am. I’m living in my very first apartment. I’m continuing to write papers. I’m giving directions to students 3 years younger than me. I’m a teaching assistant to a class of 160 of my peers. I feel very grown up, and not ready to be a grown up at all.
The epitome of being a senior seems to be this question: "So…what are you going to do next year?"
For all of those who have asked, or are wondering the same thing, here is my answer:
I have no freaking idea!!!
….so stop asking :)
While most of my friends either have jobs locked in or are currently in the recruitment process, I actually love that I don’t have a plan. Shocking, right?!
I do tend to be a bit of a control freak
(*see post on how I’ve loosened up a bit*) and absolutely thrive on the execution of plans. I like knowing where I’m going, what road I’m taking to get there, and how long the journey will take. However, it feels so nice to be anxiety-free in the face of the question of my plans for June 2019.
It seems slightly bizarre that I am so fixated on plans in the more minute aspects of my life while I am so comfortable with the unknown of a HUGE next step that will likely shape the rest of my life. Why do I care so much about the details of the brunch menu I’m planning for my friends, but I don’t really care to plan the next step in my LIFE?!
I’m sure part of it is fear and avoidance…next year will be the first time in my life where I don’t have to do anything. Nothing specific is expected of me, except to do SOMETHING. For someone like me with so many passions, ideas, projects, and aspirations floating around in my mind, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what I want to do. I know that I will take a gap year, go to school for nutrition, become a registered dietitian, and then….???
That freedom is super daunting. I love structure, I love schedules, and I love my routine. There are truly a million and one possibilities for what I could do next year…but that really is so exciting.
I have been fortunate enough to have started working for myself and building upon my passions and brand from a young age. Because of this, I value my work, time, and commitment in an extreme way. I have fully embraced the dreamy entrepreneur in me who will not settle for a desk job just to make money. I have proven to myself that I can work from a place of love and creativity, and I have invested lots of time in my education and self development (inside and outside of the classroom) to ensure that I am capable and ready to take on post-grad life.
SO here’s what I’m thinking….
I want to make a lot of beautiful and yummy food. I want to learn about all of the alternative health practices that I can. I want to get certified to teach group exercise classes. I want to get deeper into meditation. I want to expand my business and brand. I want to make a ton of YouTube videos. I want to help (at least) 100 people get healthier and happier. I want to live in Hawaii, Australia, AND/or Paris. I want to spend tons of time in the ocean. I want to be super well prepped for graduate school. I want to meet all of YOU. I want to visit friends across the country.
I want to LIVE IT UP!
That’s why I don’t have an answer for all of you future medical students, consultants, bankers, agents, engineers, and teachers. My future doesn’t fit into a box, and neither do I.
If you also don’t have an exact plan for your future (no matter your age or stage of life) – let’s celebrate sista!!! I know how stressful it can be to be bombarded with questions from your friends and family who look at you with eyes filled with their own anxiety and expectations for you.
Confidence in your future begins with self love, so let's get started girl!!
Here’s what I say -
Return the gaze with calm and clear eyes, and simply tell them: I don’t know, but everything in my life is right on time, and I can’t wait for what comes next.