For suggestions on the types of affirmations you may write, grab my FREE guide on 22 Self Love Affirmations here!
...like very much in love.
One of them is a camera-shy boy who you may catch glimpses of in my Instagram stories…
...the other one is ME!
Call me self-absorbed, self-centered, full of myself, cocky, arrogant; I don’t care.
I am head over heels in love with myself, and you should feel the same way about YOU too!
I’ll address those ^^^ judgments and myths later, but first, I want to focus on WHY I love myself, why you should love YOURself, and how to get there if you’re not feeling the love quite yet.
I love myself because I am an incredible person with unique gifts that no one else has. I make myself proud every single day by staying true to myself in everything that I do. I live life on MY terms, and I do what I want and enjoy. I unapologetically set goals and dreams that set MY soul on fire, and then I work towards those goals by chipping away at them every single day. I am a friend who I would want to have by my side. I am a sister and daughter who I would want to have in my family. I am a student and classmate who I would want to have in a group project. I am an entrepreneur who I would want in my organization. I am a creator who I would want to collaborate and build with. I am a girl who I would want to know.
I don’t name these things to brag or sound egocentric. Rather, I want to show you why this type of self love and confidence is so crucial and how you can find it within yourself too.
I want you to read this, internalize it, make it your mantra, and FULLY believe it:
YOU are a special individual with magical abilities who has the capacity to leave a unique mark on this world. In this moment, right now, you are whole, and you are enough. You have the potential for exponential growth and discovery, and you are the embodiment of love.
Scientifically speaking, you truly are one of a kind - even identical twins with the same DNA develop into unique individuals with special characteristics and varying experiences. You are here for a reason, and your gifts were given to YOU so that you could explore the magic within yourself and share it with the world. By not fully loving and embracing yourself, you are robbing the world of your unique magic - how rude!
When you are completely and utterly in love with yourself, the matter that makes up your cells energetically vibrates at a higher frequency. Ever heard of “high-vibe” living? Well, when you’re bursting with self-love, you are living in that lucious and buzzy high-vibe field. Not only will you feel the radiant energy bouncing off of your skin, but those around you will feel it too and will be inspired to elevate their own self love and self worth. When you embody love whole-heartedly and unapologetically, a realization will dawn on you:
Every single thing and all of the love that you need already lives within you.
That is so freaking cool! That means that as an individual, you are responsible and able to feel bliss, pride, and success. Additionally, as a person who is already feeling 100% full of love, all of the love that you receive from others in your life will bring you to love capacity of OVER 100% - my heart is bursting with love just thinking about it!
Self-love is a feeling, belief, and embodiment. When you truly believe that you are worthy of love and that you are a kick-ass person, that is when you will fall head over heels in love with yourself. You must believe, without a doubt, that you are simply incredible - no question about it. In the face of challenges and fears projected on you from others, you must stand your ground and let their judgments pass over you without inflicting damage on your self-love. While this may take some practice, the fact that YOU, and only you, are responsible for your self-love is pretty great. Why should you intrust that responsibility on anyone else besides yourself?
Arriving at the level of self love, self confidence, and worthiness that you desire and are capable of may not be coming naturally to you right now. The great news is, that level of love IS already within you and is 100% accessible. Think of yourself when you were 2 - when you took your first steps, you freaking LOVED yourself and giggled with glee. When you fell 3 seconds later, you loved yourself all the same because you didn’t know any better than to lean into love. When you dreamed about being president or an astronaut or a ballerina, you freaking BELIEVED that that would be your destiny because you knew you were worthy of accomplishing anything. So...what’s changed? We’ve allowed adulthood to harden us.
We’ve been taught that life is hard, you need to be realistic and get your head out of the clouds, and you can never have it all...well I say f*ck that!!!
I want to show you how none of those things have to be true for you and that you can fall so hard for yourself that there’s no way you won’t live out your wildest dreams.
Below are some steps that you should practice DAILY to continue cultivating self love every single day.
☆Tell yourself “I love you”. Look in the mirror as you’re brushing your teeth and literally say the words out loud - or after you’ve rinsed your toothpaste and flossed :). By simply saying the words, you will begin to BELIEVE them and feel the love resonating in your body.
☆Make a gratitude list about YOURSELF. Make a mental or written list every morning about why you are grateful for yourself. This may include things like: your compassion for your friends, your consistency with calling your family, your brilliant brain, your smile that made someone else’s day brighter etc. It’s a fabulous idea to also make a list of other people/things/experiences that you are grateful for in your life.
☆Unfollow the low-vibe people. Comparison is the antithesis of love. If you spend your time wishing you were someone else, lived somewhere else, owned other things, or had someone else’s job, you are wasting your time...because guess what? YOU ARE NOT THEM. And that is such a good thing! If you were them, then all of the people in your life wouldn’t know you, your impact on the world wouldn’t have been made, and I wouldn’t get to have your beautiful eyes reading my blog - sad! If someone who you follow on social media or who you socialize with is causing you to fall into the comparison trap, remove them from your life. Be selfish, prioritize your own happiness, and click unfollow. You won’t miss them! If there is a person in your social circle who makes you feel this way, distance yourself from them as best as you can. There’s no need to be mean or cut someone out of your life entirely, but there are definitely ways to avoid face time with them.
☆Do things that make you proud. When you are doing small things every single day that light up your soul and make you feel accomplished, your self worth and confidence will skyrocket. While this is similar for achieving big long-term goals, the small daily actions are the ones that will actually sustain you. Celebrate every win, no matter how small! Reward yourself with kind words, a relaxing bath, some good old Netflix, or a mini dance party. There can never be too much pride and celebration, so prove to yourself that you deserve a freaking party every day!
☆Get rid of the self-sabotage talk and replace it with love. Every time you catch yourself being mean to yourself, notice the voice, recognize that it is a voice stemming from fear, ask it to go away, and replace it with love. For every mean comment, give yourself 3 new compliments. As my mom always said, “kill them with kindness”. While she was referencing 13-year-old middle school bullies, I am referring to your own inner bully. There is no need to judge that voice, reprimand it, or feel guilt for its existence - we all have one! Instead, recognize it, show it the way out of your head, and replace it with words of love. Even at your lowest moments, I know that you can find 3 nice things to say about yourself. Just like any habit, the more you practice it, the easier it will come.
☆Tell your friends about your journey and lean on them for support. Even though this post is about an internal journey to loving yourself, the people in your life can play a wonderful role in this as well. Tell your loved ones about your intention to develop your self love, and maybe ask them if they want to join you! If not, let them keep you accountable and remind you of your intentions whenever they hear you bully yourself or self-sabotage. I certainly do this for my friends when they’re feeling bloated in an outfit or discouraged about job searching, and they do the same for me too.
☆Move your body in a way that feels lovely. The human body is meant to move and prefers to not be parked in a chair all day. There are so many beautiful ways to move your body in a way that is healthy for your muscles, cardiovascular system, joints, and mind. Exercise is scientifically proven to improve mental health, and a body that gets active movement is a strong body. For most people, feeling strong and active helps them to feel confident - I know it does for me! Instead of focusing on calories burned, heart rate reached, or progress pictures, focus on how your beautiful body makes your soul feel. Our spirits are only given one precious home for this lifetime, so loving and honoring yourself includes keeping that home running smoothly with strength and grace. Find movement that feels amazing for YOU - not what your roommates love or your fitness instructor recommends. There are so many options out there, so pick one, try another, and stick with the ones that you love.
☆Ditch the scale. The number that indicates how much you weigh is in no way a reflection of your health or self worth. There is SO much more to your health than one number - I haven't weighed myself in YEARS and feel as good as ever! Not only does your weight fluctuate throughout the day, but muscle weighs more than fat, so you may actually gain weight if you slim down. It's simply a horrible reflection of your awesomeness and shouldn't matter at all - what does matter is how you FEEL in your body and spirit.
☆Give your body the fuel it’s asking for. When you love yourself, you will understand that your body deserves the absolute best. It deserves fresh fruits and vegetables. It deserves warm homemade chocolate chip cookies. It deserves soothing teas and tonics. It deserves quality proteins and carbs. Self love comes with accepting your body’s hunger and cravings and giving it what it needs. Self sabotage includes feeding your body junk food, mindlessly snacking, bingeing, and ignoring your intuition that is trying to lead the way. Even if you don’t fully believe it yet, your body is 10000% worthy of the most nutritious and nourishing fuel, so give it that! You don’t need to spend $100s on superfoods and potions and products. Keep it simple, choose whole, unpackaged foods most of the time, and let yourself enjoy every bite of ice cream when it feels right.
☆Prioritize yourself - say HECK YES or F NO. Being in love with yourself means living life on YOUR terms and doing what YOU want. Now, sometimes we have to do things that we don’t want to do (but they still benefit us!!) like - homework, paying bills, driving a friend to the airport, or preparing dinner after a long day. However, we do have control over a large portion of what happens in our day...since there are only so many hours in a day to do those things, make sure you are choosing to spend your time doing what brings you love and joy. Say yes to amazing opportunities, scary spontaneous adventures, networking with like-minded people, and relaxing time with friends. Likewise, you must get comfortable with saying no without guilt or justification. The fact that you simply don’t want to do something is enough of a reason to decline an invitation, and you don’t owe anything else to the person who extended the offer. With grace and kindness, learn to say no to anything that drains your energy, puts you in a bad headspace, or takes away time from doing what you love. You can’t do it ALL, but you can do ALL of what absolutely lights you up!
So, once you have fallen in love with yourself, there are many ways that you can maintain and prioritize this relationship in your daily life.
This self-love practice is a way of life, not just a 10 day challenge.
As you continue to work on the steps listed above, they will become second-nature, and you won’t even have to think about it anymore! However, don’t get comfortable in one place once you feel like you’ve reached a “good level” of self love. There is always room to grow, things to learn, experiences to be had, and magical moments lying ahead.
Even once you have reached a point where you are squealing with delight and bursting with self love, you will have days where you feel totally out of love with yourself. Although it may suck in the moment, that is totally ok, normal, and healthy! We are capable of feeling such a wide range of emotions, and FEEL them we should!! If you’re feeling down on yourself or are in a bad mood, feel the feeling, cry it out, journal about it, vent to your boyfriend, and then remind yourself to focus on love. When you are able to consciously bring yourself back to a place of joy and light, the transition from pouty you to smiling you will be quicker and more seamless!
Ultimately, being full of yourself and a little cocky is actually freaking great. No one else can be your biggest cheerleader to root for you and your dreams like YOU can. I encourage you to fill yourself up with your own abundance of joy and love - be full of YOU, not anyone else or anyone else’s expectations.
You are a freaking incredible, brilliant, unique snowflake, and you are worthy of everything that you desire.
I believe in you...so believe in yourself, and have fun falling in love :)
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