On Monday morning, I decided to drive my boyfriend to the airport so he didn't have to take an Uber. It was the first Monday after weeks of traveling and hosting my Miami Magic Retreat, so I was really looking forward to getting grounded in my routines and rituals again.
I also wanted to spend some more time with him before his week of traveling though, so I figured the morning routine could wait and I could drive him to the airport - especially because I checked my maps and there wasn't any traffic!
Going to the airport was smooth sailing, and we got there in about 20 minutes, I was grateful for the time we got together - we've both been traveling so much - and felt happy with my decision to prioritize us over my precise morning routine.
On the way home, it looked like there was some traffic - it would take 30 minutes. I was a little bit frustrated but knew I'd be home soon enough. I got off the freeway about 10 minutes in to get gas and was celebrating the fact that I found a great deal - only $3.30/gallon! Score!
My maps told me to take the side streets home from there, but I wasn't really in the mood for lots of turns - I know, weirdly specific intuitive hit! I just wanted to get back on the freeway, turn on a podcast, and go STRAIGHT. I hadn't had my matcha latte yet, and I didn't want to have to think about where to go or when to turn. Just take me home!
So I ignored my maps and went back towards the freeway I had just gotten off. I was so confident in my decision because growing up in LA, I knew that if you got off the freeway on a ramp and then kept going straight, the next ramp should take you right back onto the same freeway, right?!
As soon as I got on the ramp and realized it was taking me north instead of east, I knew I had made a dire mistake.
And it was a mistake that was going to cost me 45 minutes in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
Oh. My. God.
Now this is why it was such a disastrous mistake - we have express lanes in Florida (which are great if you're trying to get somewhere), and you get to cruise in those express lanes for about 5-6 miles at a time. That also means that you cannot EXIT the freeway for those 5 miles.
So here I am. Stuck in the express lane for 5.8 miles before I can make a U-turn. Going in the complete opposite direction.
And I see that the south side of the freeway - where I need to go to get home - is in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
That's when I start crying.
Real, fierce tears streaming down my face.
No. No. No!! UGH! I do NOT want to sit in that traffic. But I literally CANNOT do anything about it.
I was so beyond frustrated, and so I let myself cry.
Now part of my brain registered that crying in your car about making a wrong turn is silly, weird, overdramatic, and childish.
But the other part remembered that FEELING your emotions and letting them exist without judging them as being wrong or right or "too much" is the best way to deal with them.
For some people, "dealing" with emotions means numbing.
Maybe you numb with food.
And you bury those emotions down down down.
But then you stew. You sit in the muck of your bottled-up emotions.
And the tension of what you're feeling stays.
Whereas when you EXPRESS your emotions...
then your emotions are able to move through you and....release.
And that's exactly what happened to me.
I yelled. I cried. I said "NO NO NO OHMYGOSH WHYYY" a few times.
Then I finally settled into peace and acceptance. And arriving at that peace didn't feel like force...it just gently settled into my body and mind.
I was able to sit in that traffic, put on some audio lessons from a business course I recently enrolled in, concentrate on what I was learning and the road in front of me, and cruise at our slow traffic speed.
Once I got home, I was able to finish my morning routine and move on with my day. By the end of the evening, I had forgotten all about my morning disaster because the emotions had come and gone.
And *that* is what it truly means to deal with your emotions.
It doesn't mean "get a hold of yourself and pull it together".
Sometimes it means: let yourself fall apart and feel it all so that you can peacefully put yourself back together again.
So here is your permission slip to be dramatic - to feel big things - to cry and have a little tantrum - and then gently put yourself back together again.
Whether you're used to numbing emotions with food, alcohol, isolation, partying, or anything else, I hope this helps and gives you a new way to honor and live with your emotions.
P.S. Healing from emotional eating, stress eating, and boredom eating often requires more than just a good cry or tantrum - there are likely years of old conditioning around food, diets, and emotions that need to be healed. The Food Freedom Collective is THE program to help you do just that so you can eat with love, peace, intuition, and freedom again. Apply for the Food Freedom Collective and book in your consultation call before the holiday season begins!